So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
