I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
