Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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