sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
