We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
