question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
