i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
