Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
