Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize