Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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