Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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