guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
