remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
