Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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