He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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