You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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