sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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