weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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