Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
