I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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