Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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