you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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