why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
