can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
