I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
