i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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