It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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