i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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