Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nicole vs. Life
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
