It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
