We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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