I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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