tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
