i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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