I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
