I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
