Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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