the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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