We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
