Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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