things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
