First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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