you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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