We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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