It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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