why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The air was thick with penises
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
