Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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