Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
