Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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