just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
