These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
