i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
