On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
