I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
