So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
