What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
