it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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