The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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